Step-by-step guide to bankrupt Elon Musk
wait for it...
Happy Thursday!
That day of the week that’s basically Friday’s warm-up act.
And while most of us are staring at our bank balances and wondering if we can make it to the weekend without dipping into our “do not touch” savings, some people play an entirely different game.
Case in point: Elon Musk.
The man could give you $1,000 and still have enough left to buy… well, basically anything he wants.
📌 And broke? Not even close
Elon Musk’s net worth is currently $419 billion. That’s the kind of money that makes “being broke” a purely theoretical concept.
Let’s say he decided to be generous and hand every single adult in America, all 267 million of them, a crisp $1,000 bill.
That’s $267 billion gone in a flash. Most of us would be in full financial panic if we lost $267, let alone $267 billion.
Elon? He’d still be sitting on $152 billion. That’s still more than twice what Jeff Bezos has.
📌 Let’s put that into perspective
The U.S. median household income in 2023? Around $74,000. Elon could drop that much every minute for decades and still not go broke.
If he spent $1 million every single day, it would take him more than 1,100 years to run out of money. That’s longer than the time between the Vikings discovering North America and you reading this sentence.
Even after giving away $1,000 each to all U.S. adults, he could buy every NBA, NFL, and MLB team, and still have billions left over for a yacht shaped like a rocket.
📌 And, the extra $10 billion flex
Here’s where it gets silly: Every time Musk’s net worth jumps by $10 billion, that’s enough to give every U.S. adult an extra $37.
In other words, the kind of money change in his portfolio that barely registers for him would cover your weekend grocery bill… or at least your next overpriced coffee habit.
📌 The broke scale
Here’s the part I can’t stop laughing at:
Most of us feel broke if we miss one paycheck.
Some of us feel broke if we have to skip that one fancy dinner we were planning.
For Elon to feel broke, he’d have to lose hundreds of billions. And even then, “broke” would mean… being richer than Bill Gates.
📌 If I were Elon for a day
With $152 billion in leftover “pocket change,” I’d:
Pay off everyone’s student loans (still have billions left)
Buy my favorite coffee chain just so my lattes are free forever
Throw a music festival where the tickets, food, and drinks are all free
Build an island shaped like a giant thumbs-up emoji (because why not)
That’s it for today. If you found this edition interesting and entertaining, please drop a like and follow us for more!
See ya👋
